#hes just a good egg innit

[tinseltownie]

need oscar's reaction to his mum's podcast knowing full well that it's going to be nonchalant because of said podcast

[sassycheesecake]

"Hello everyone, I’m going ta do a -" The young Miya chef starts to speak into a video camera, his black shirt carrying his restaurant logo over his right pec muscle. His black messy hair looks like he just rolled out of bed ten minutes ago, which he secretly did because Atsumu has shown up at seven in the goddamn morning to remind Osamu of the bet that the younger twin has lost only a month ago.

The Miya twins challenged each other to do the Chubby Bunny challenge and when Osamu was about to win, you came running into the living room in just a towel because you saw a cockroach on the bathroom wall and didn't know that Atsumu came over while you were in the shower. The chef almost choked on the marshmallows when he saw you in a single towel, causing Atsumu to shriek in victory with his mouth full of marshmallows as well. In the end, you had to do the Heimlich manoeuvre on both of them.

Since it’s off-season for the professional volleyball player, he has nothing better to do than bother his younger brother and Osamu‘s pretty partner on a regular Saturday morning.

"You’re not even going to introduce yourself?" You interrupt him with a little laugh behind the counter with the video camera, where you are seated next to Atsumu so you can film your boyfriend.

"I’m Osamu Miya and today-" The ravenette starts again.

"Ya forgot ta mention the great Atsumu Miya's twin brother-" Atsumu adds cheekily, interrupting him yet again.

Osamu can’t stop the highly aggravated sigh escaping from him, and he sends his brother a death glare behind the camera.

“ANYWAY- I am going ta show ya’ll how ta make a simple deep fired shrimp onigiri. Joinin' me today is my beautiful assistant an' partner-in-crime, (Y/N)." The grey-eyed twin looks behind the camera where you are seated.

You look up with a surprised face, clearly not expecting to be helping your boyfriend.

Scooching off the bar stool in front of the counter, you hop down and make your way with slow steps to Osamu who watches you with adoration and fondness in his gray eyes.

"What’s the first step?" You ask excited, almost hopping up and down like an excited puppy.

Osamu gives you one of his rare breathtaking smiles, feeling his heart speed up by the happiness on your face.

"Well first, we need ta make sure we got all the ingredients for makin' this." The black-haired chef explains while the camera zooms out a bit and the viewer is able to see the laid out ingredients for making the dish.

Osamu points to each ingredient, explaining what it is, what you need it for and how much you need of it.

"Looks like we got everythin'. Ya ready?" Osamu leans on the counter as he watches you with a grin.

"Yes, chef." You giggle and roll up your sleeves on your hoodie.

You can hear Atsumu gag behind the camera as he hears your flirting.

"Alright. First, yer gonna crack an egg in a bowl an' whisk it, afterwards yer gonna add the flour an' the cold water. Mix all together. Add some spices so it’s not completely flavorless. Ya followin' so far?" Osamu raises his dark eyebrow as he asks you.

You do as he says, nodding in confirmation.

"Good. Now yer gonna put that off ta the side an' grab the other bowl with the flour innit an' put the shrimp in there."

Grabbing the already peeled shrimp out of the fridge, you dump them in the flour and mix it together, making sure that there are no bare parts left on the shrimp.

"Now what?"

"Now yer gonna dip the shrimp in da batter, hold it by its tail and then dunk it a few times in there. I already prepared da fryin' oil pot but I don’t wantcha ta hurt yerself so please let me do the fryin'." Osamu looks at you with his stunning ash-grey eyes and every time he looks at you with those eyes, it makes you weak in the knees, so all you do is stare at him with big eyes and nod your head.

The chef chuckles at your reaction and those chuckles send shivers down your spine.

"(Y/N), yer startin' ta drool over mah brother. Try ta tame yer thoughts please, I can hear them from here." Atsumu teases you with a mischievous grin.

Feeling your face heat up a thousand degrees, you watch as your boyfriend skillfully puts the shrimp in the frying pot, turning them over occasionally because taking them out to put them on a drying tray.

"Leave mah girl outta this. She just knows that I am a lot hotter than you." Osamu explains as he finishes the last bit of frying the shrimp.

"Yannow, if I'd known ya would be disgustin' like this, I would have stayed at home." Atsumu scrunches up his face.

"Door's right over there." Osamu mentions his head towards his front door, clearly not bothered and more than happy to have some alone time with you.

Atsumu pouts and slumps over the counter.

"(Y/N) do something. Yer ass of a boyfriend wants to kick me out." The Setter looks at you for help, giving you those brown puppy eyes.

Curse twins and their equally good looks.

"We still need Atsumu for making the video. And he can clean up afterwards since we are both cooking." You grin up at the younger twin.

"I ain’t cleanin' shit."

"He’s not gettin' anywhere near my damn kitchen."

The twins say in sync.

You laugh at their words, setting the already cooked sticky rice on the counter next to the shrimp, along with the seaweed strips, salt, water and boiled sauce for dipping the cooked shrimp in, before putting it into the rice onigiri.

The restaurant owner shows you how it’s done step by step, being slow with his movements, so you know how it’s done.

During the trying to copy his movements, the blonde excused himself to use the restroom and Osamu uses the chance to get closer to you.

He stands behind you, putting his giant hand over yours to help you shape the onigiri. He does it on a daily basis and you’re so happy that you are his and he is yours only.

"Try doin' it yerself." The dark-haired man whispers in your ear, sending shivers all over your body and getting goosebumps by his dark voice.

You feel his strong heartbeat against your back and your breathing picks up a bit. Leaning his head next to yours on your shoulder, you feel his smile against your cheek as he watches you try to shape the next onigiri by yourself.

Holding the somewhat triangular-shaped onigiri (it’s more heart shaped actually), you present it to him with an unsure look.

All of sudden, Osamu took a large bite out of it, getting some rice on his lips, shocking you a little bit even though you should have seen this coming, this is Osamu Miya after all.

Humming in bliss, your lover swallows the food before giving you a flirtatious look, turning you around so you’re standing face-to-face.

"Compliments to the chef."

Smiling in delight, the ravenette places a smooth and loving kiss onto your lips, pulling you closer to his body.

You forget the world around you, it’s just you and Osamu. And nothing else matters.

[hikarry]

I imagine Crowley, in his long existence, has never ever even attempted to cook or bake something. After all, eating has always been an excuse to take Aziraphale out and hang out. And it's not even like he eats a lot. He clearly prefers drinking.

And yet, when they move to the South Downs, it's a bit different, innit? The South Downs is no London where in every corner there's a restaurant or a bakery and there's always a new spot to discover. If they want to eat out they have to drive for a while and it's not like they have a lot of options. All in all, it's just not very efficient. But Aziraphale likes food. And Crowley loves to watch him eat.

I have no doubt Crowley becomes the cook of the household, all for the love of the angel. And he also ends up liking it cause he likes to follow recipes and keeps his mind busy. Aziraphale's smile is just a bonus, really.

Alas, it takes a while for him to get good at it and the first time he tries can be described as one of the most frustrating ventures of his life.

At first he decides to wing it. Something simple, out of the stuff they have in the refrigerator and the pantry. How hard can it be? Humans have been doing it since de beginning of time! It turns out it can, indeed, be quite difficult. He burns everything, makes a mess of the kitchen. Somehow there's flour in the counter tops and he hasn't even touched the flour! Or was it sugar? Regardless, he didn't use sugar either!

He ends up caving in and pulling his phone, searching for EASY and BEGINNER FRIENDLY recipes. The angel doesn't need to know about it.

Welp, even following the recipe he ends up with his sleeves soaked with water, an egg on the floor, somehow the flour is back even tho he miracled it away 10 minutes ago and a burned hand, that he heals not before screaming bloody murder. Luckily Aziraphale wasn't at home.

Eventually, in between all his failed attempts, he starts running out of supplies and starts miracling them as he needs them.

After 3 hours, and 10 minutes before Aziraphale is due to arrive home, he is finally successful and extremely exhausted because of all the miracles.

When Aziraphale arrives, Crowley presents him with a somewhat fancy grilled cheese sandwich (yes. He started with proper meals and ended up in sandwiches).

"Oh dear, you made this?"

"Yup."

"I didn't know you could cook!"

"It's a sandwich, angel. Can't really be considered cooking."

They walk to the living room, when Crowley remembers you can see the kitchen from said living room, and it still looks like a war zone.

"It looks scrumptious, nonetheless!"

"Yeah, thanks." He snaps his fingers behind his back to tidy up the kitchen and close the window he had opened because of the smoke and the smell of burned food before they actually arrive in the living room. "Do you want some tea with that?"

"That would be lovely."

Okay, tea he could do in front of Aziraphale. Tea is easy. Just some warm water and leaves. He has done it a million times before for the angel. He can't fuck it up, right? After the most humiliating 3 hours of his life, he isn't so sure.

[twostepstyless]

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Authors Note: Reminisce on the day our favourite golden retreiver entered Harry and Y/N's lives and the journey it took to get him. Thank you very much Japanrry and Bell the Shiba Inn for the Harry with dog content we've received this week it truly couldn't have come at a better time.

Word Count: 4K+

SFW

***

the middle of june 2020

“Jesus Christ, Y/N,” Harry let out a soft chuckle, reaching over to pull a couple of tissues from the box they had to keep on the coffee table, passing them over to Y/N who was cuddled up against Harry’s side as tear tracks ran down her face. 

“Baby, it’s fine,” Harry’s hand rubbed soothingly up and down Y/N’s arm, “why y’crying? Look the dogs happy, he’s wagging his tail and the little old man’s happy he’s got a new mate,” Harry tried his best to point out that they were actually watching quite a sweet story unfold on the television. 

“I know,” she wails as a sob wracked through her body.

“What is going on in your brain?” Harry laughs as he pries the scrunched-up tissue from the grip in her fist, sitting her upright on the couch and began to wipe away at her tears before pinching the tissue over her nose and allowing her to blow into it before wiping it away and dropping the tissue to the side. 

“It’s just lovely isn’t it,” Y/N said through the remaining sniffles of her tears, “he lost his wife and was looking for a little pal and the dog’s owner died and now they ha-have ea-” she hiccups as a new stream of tears begins to cascade down her cheeks, “now they have each other,” she casts as her eyes up to the television to see Bill, the elderly widowed man, head home with his new dog who had grey whiskers littering his snout and face not dissimilar from his new owner, ready to see out their final years together. 

“You’re so cute,” Harry cooed with an amused smile while turning the volume of the tv down as the blaringly loud ad break sounded out through their living room. 

“Don’t make fun of me,” Y/N whines, palming the remaining tears away from staining her cheeks before burying herself back under Harry’s arm, her own reaching across his middle to tether herself to him. 

“M’not, m’not, I promise,” he hummed, his thumb smoothing soft circles on her arm. “S’a nice idea, innit?” Harry said quietly, a few moments later. 

“Wha’s that?” she asked slowly, tired from all the crying. 

“Having a dog,” he murmured. 

“Yeah?” Y/N tilted her head up to look at him, her nose brushing his jawline. 

“Mhmm, a little furry mate to cuddle up with at night sounds right up my street,” he looks down at her, nose brushing against her forehead before pressing a soft kiss to her temple. 

She sighs in contentment and leans into the brush of his lips, “what? Am I not cutting it anymore? I’ve not shaved my legs in a bit, I can be furry if that’s what you’re after,” she teased as Harry huffed out a laugh. 

“Shut up,” he chuckled, “y’know what I mean, m’heart.”

“Mm, I do, it does sound a nice idea,” she hummed, eyes beginning to flutter with tiredness. 

*** 

Three months had passed when the thought fluttered into Y/N’s head again. It had come and gone every so often, but this morning she woke up with the idea at the forefront of her mind. She padded down the stairs to find Harry in the kitchen, preparing their breakfast. 

“Morning m’heart,” Harry spoke, handing her the coffee had had prepared for her the second he heard her shuffling around upstairs. 

“Mmm, morning, thank you gorgeous,” she took a grateful sip before stretching up on her toes and pressing a kiss to his lips in greeting. 

“Sleep good?” he asked as he began plating up her eggs for breakfast. 

“Mhm, how was y’run?” she spoke through a yawn that slipped out. 

“Was good, seen a golden retriever take a dive into the biggest puddle you’ve ever seen, the owner looked so fed up and was moaning his head off to the dog,” Harry laughed as he handed her over her plate before taking his own and setting up shop beside her as they had breakfast together. 

Y/N thought it was funny he should mention dogs this morning and chose to bring her idea up now. 

“D’you remember that thing y’said to me a few months ago?” she asked. 

Harry nearly choked on his food as he laughed, he swallowed down before asking, “reckon y’could narrow that down for me, love? That’s a bit vague even for me to guess.” 

“We were watching telly, an’ I had been crying…” she divulged. 

“The dog programme?” Harry quirked his eyebrow as he took a mouthful of his own coffee. 

“Mhm, and you mentioned something about it being a nice idea, having a little dog,” she gnawed on her lip. 

“I did,” Harry said with a knowing smile, wanting to coax her into saying what she was thinking rather than him assuming. 

“And… I guess, I was just wondering f’you were serious about that?” 

“About what?” he put his fork down, spinning in his seat to face her, thumb pulling at her bottom lip to release it from the bite her teeth had on it. 

“’Bout having a dog,” she spoke quietly.

“Yeah, I was serious,” he confirmed with a smile. 

“I guess I was jus’ wondering if that’s something you would be thinking about having now, I guess… with me?” she finally asked. 

“Miss Y/S/N, are you asking me to own a dog with you?” Harry asked in faux shock, a teasing lilt evident in his tone.

“Get fucked,” she whined at his teasing. 

“Shh, of course I want that with you, jus’ didn’t realise you were thinking about that,” Harry speculated. 

“Jus’ a little bit, it planted a seed when y’mentioned it and it keeps popping back up every so often, then you said about that dog on your run and I could just see you out running with our own dog,” she spilled. 

“Sounds like a dream, doesn’t it?” Harry smiled. 

“Yeah,” she sighed, content it had went over well. 

“Why don’t we start having a look around, look up breeders and all that, see what we’re after?” he suggested. 

“Uh well… I was thinking, why don’t we go visit a rescue place, know like the one out the other programme off the telly that always makes me cry?” 

“Battersea?” 

“Yeah, that’s the one,” Y/N nodded. 

“Sounds perfect, sweets, why don’t we take a drive down at the start of next week? See what they say to it?” 

“Really?” Y/N asked, struggling to hide the excitement from her voice. 

“Yeah, think we’d make brilliant dog parents, we would definitely let our dog play in the puddles without moaning like the guy I saw this morning,” Harry said confidently. 

“Yeah? Tell me that again when we’ve got a dog taking mud baths every other day for a laugh and you need to wash them up afterwards.” 

*** 

21st of September 2020

Y/N couldn’t sit still in her seat as Harry drove them to south London. She would settle for a few minutes then a shit-eating grin would split across her face, her knee would bounce in a nervous excitement and the occasional wiggle of her hips as she tried to settle herself down, which Harry kept catching out the corner of his eye with an amused smile gracing his features. 

“Jus’ remember we’re not for sure leaving with a dog today, I know you’re excited, I am too, but let’s just be realistic, we might not find our fit today, more importantly, the right dog might not find us,” Harry reached over to squeeze her bouncing knee as they began to drive over the Chelsea bridge, officially entering Battersea. 

“No, I know, m’just so excited to see all the dogs and you’re right, they need to be the ones to pick us,” Y/N said nodding her head, glad they were on the same page of letting the dog that was meant to be theirs come to them on its own. 

Harry pulled the car in to park, switched the engine off and turned to face his love, “we ready to do this?” he unfastened his seatbelt. 

“This is a big step for us, isn’t it?” Y/N mirrored him, taking off her seatbelt. 

“How do you mean?” 

“Well getting a pet, s’quite big, isn’t it?” Y/N explained as if it was obvious. 

“Y/N/N, we already own a house together, have done for nearly 8 months, I’m pretty sure we’re alright,” Harry joked, reaching over and tucking her loose hair back. 

“Yeah, but a living, breathing being is a bit more than bricks and mortar is it not?” she leant into his touch before nudging his hand away with her head and taking his hand in her own. 

“Well, the plants are doing alright,” Harry laughed, smoothing his thumb over her knuckles. “Is this a conversation we should’ve had before coming here? Are y’worried about us having to co-parent our future pet?” he asked. 

“No, m’not worried… I don’t know,” she resigned with a sigh. 

“’Cause y’know that’s not going to happen, I told you I was all in with you in our first year together,” Harry smiled fondly. 

“Y’told me within the first few months,” she pointed out with a giggle. 

“Exactly, we’ve got three years locked in the vault, a dog isn’t going to upend this, if anything I reckon, he’s going to solidify our future together even more,” Harry leant forward and placed a chaste kiss on the corner of her lips. 

“You said he. Y’think we’re going to get a boy dog?” she breathed out. 

“Mhm, got a feeling. Now c’mon, I feel like I can hear him calling out to me through all the barking,” Harry opened the driver’s door allowing the sound of all the barking from inside the rescue centre to flood into the car. 

***

“Look H, this one is called Binx,” she pouted as a greyhound’s nose appeared through the gaps in the fence as Harry appeared beside her after talking to a few of the volunteers. 

“She’s cute,” Harry said as he read over the information posted outside the dog’s area, “it says she doesn’t like a lot of people around her, m’not sure that’s a good fit for us, there’s constantly people in and out our house and we wouldn’t be able to take her with us a lot of the time,” Harry explained, sounding sad they would have to move on from the little beauty who was staring up at them. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” Y/N said sadly. “Bye cutie,” she waved her hand at the wide-eyed greyhound who relaxed back down in her bed once her visitors moved on. 

“So, the volunteer, said they have someone they think we’d like to meet,” Harry grasped her hand and lead her back to the blue painted desk at the front of the rescue centre, portraits of all their current dogs that are looking for homes hung on the wall behind the woman with the thick-rimmed glasses who was smiling brightly sat behind the desk. 

‘Hiya love, welcome to Battersea,” the lady spoke, with a thick accent that Y/N guessed was from the West Country. 

“Hi nice t’meet you, I’m Y/N,” she greeted the woman. 

“I’m Bonnie, love, I was just chatting with y’fella here and I’ve got someone I think could be a fit for you guys, if you would like to meet him?” Y/N’s eyes gleamed in excitement as Harry jabbed her playfully in the side at the word ‘him’, his guess potentially coming true.

“Most definitely, we’d like to meet anyone that you think could be a fit for us,” Harry answered for them. 

“Right then,” Bonnie stood with a groan, “right this way, let me just grab a handful of these first, he’s very food driven,” Bonnie laughed as she shoved some dog treats from the jar on the desk into her pocket, and lead the couple through a painted blue door to the side of the desk. 

As soon as they entered the room, they heard a high-pitched squeak rather than a bark. A squeak that was trying to be a bark but wasn’t quite there yet. Bonnie stood to the side to reveal a fenced pen, where a rambunctious little pup was running in circles letting out his squeaky bark to greet his new visitors. 

“Oh my fucking god,” Y/N breathed out under her breath, hand squeezing Harry’s tight as the approached the pen. 

“So, this little baby, he’s not got a name yet we’ve just been calling him ‘boy’ is a fourteen-week golden retriever,” Bonnie told them as she quietened the puppy down with a few treats from her pocket. 

“He’s so little,” Y/N cooed as she knelt down next to the pen as Harry sat cross-legged next to her, watching the dog explore his little pen. 

“Was he born here, then?” Harry looked towards Bonnie, asking for more of the dog’s story. 

“Uh no, this lad and his brothers and sisters have got a bit of a sad story actually, they were found on the 16thof June, in a bin bag dumped down by the river. We got them dropped off here and we worked out they were probably only a day old,” Bonnie said as she scratched the happy dog behind the ears. 

“That’s awful,” Y/N gasped. 

“Yeah, not the best start in life but they were all hand-reared by our volunteers, this little one by me, and believe me if I could take him permanently, I absolutely would,” Bonnie smiled at the golden retriever whose tail was wagging hard enough it was creating a draught. 

“So, the rest of the litter?” Harry queried. 

“Already found their forever’s, my little pal here was the smallest of the bunch, struggled to keep him with us right at the beginning but he’s here now waiting for his own turn to find forever,” Bonnie said as both Harry and Y/N pouted at the bright little light of a soul contained in the golden retriever sat in front of them as he nudged the volunteer’s hand for another treat. “Why don’t I open his pen up, we’ll let him out, let him have a good old sniff around the room and we’ll see if he takes to you guys, if he seems comfortable enough, I’ll slip out the room and let you have a little one to one with him,” Bonnie explained, handing over the remaining treats she had stuffed into her pockets into Harry and Y/N’s hands, “sound good?” 

“Absolutely,” Harry agreed quickly. 

“Yes please, I’d love t’meet him proper,” Y/N confirmed. 

“Cracking,” and Bonnie bent down and lifted the small gate containing the dog into the pen and opened it wide for him to come out. His tiny head whipped round to see what Bonnie was up to, ears flopping at the movement as he began to run as fast as his legs could carry him out the gate. 

The couple giggled as they watched him run laps around the room, stopping to sniff at every corner and crevice he came across. As soon as the puppy heard the couple on the floor giggling, he skidded to a halt and turned in place to look at them, tilting his head, his ears swishing with the movement. He approached the pair sitting on the floor, tripping over his paws that he was still growing into as he approached Y/N first circling around where she was knelt down. 

“Hi baby boy,” she uttered, reaching her closed fist out to him, the treats contained inside, as his wet, black nose bumped against her hand, giving it a tentative lick, “I think I’ve got something you’re going to like hidden in there,” she began to withdraw her hand causing the golden dog to whine pitifully and follow her hand, reaching up towards her by placing his front paws up on her knees. Harry sat and watched the glow of happiness radiate from his girlfriend. She was generally a happy person but seeing her feed the dog his treats from her outstretched palm, Harry felt like he was witnessing something click into place inside of her. Like the little dog was the missing puzzle piece of her, of them. “You’re just the sweetest little sunshine aren’t you,” she giggled as the dog licked her palm free landing back on all four paws before he turned his attention to Harry’s cross-legged frame, tilting his head at the man. 

“Hiya mate,” Harry murmured, holding his hand out letting the pup smell him first before leaving the safety blanket of Y/N. The couple were so engrossed in the puppy they didn’t even spot Bonnie, smiling knowingly, silently slip out of the room, closing the door behind her.  Harry hand fed him a few treats, the dog shuffling forward so he was sat in front of him. Harry let his free hand come up and give the dog a few little scratches behind the ear as he watched Bonnie do earlier which made his little tail sweep the floor in happiness. Once he had finished his treats, the dog seemed perfectly happy in Harry’s company, so much so that he climbed straight in between Harry’s crossed legs and rest his head on Harry’s thigh, staring up at the happy couple. 

“I think he likes you, H,” Y/N whispered, letting her hand smooth down the dogs back, her nails scratching lightly as Harry’s thumb smoothed up over his nose and forehead as the dog blinked heavily, his young body clearly tuckered out from all the excitement. 

“Yeah, you think so?” Harry couldn’t tear his eyes away from his new best mate. 

“Considering he climbed straight into your lap, I’m thinking yeah,” Y/N laughed as she let her head fall onto Harry’s shoulder. 

“He seems pretty smitten with you too,” Harry pointed out, and sure enough, the dog, through his heavy eyes, was staring straight up at her. 

They sat quietly in the peace, Harry’s lap warm with the weight of his tired little body, Y/N’s arm growing achy from its constant stroking down his back but she didn’t dare stop. 

Bonnie shuffled back into the room, “well, my lovelies, how are we getting on?” as Y/N and Harry’s gazes snapped up to look at her, before both smiling softly and back down to their sleepy boy. 

*** 

Harry had never been more grateful for the traffic that kept them driving well below the speed limit between south and north London. Their new four-legged baby was passed out in Y/N’s arms in the passenger seat as the slow rumble of the engine and Y/N’s constant pats and soothing words keep him asleep on the big scary car journey back to his new forever home. 

“We’re going to need to think of a name,” Harry said softly as he chanced a look down at him as they stopped at a red light.

“Hm, any suggestions?” she asked. 

“None at all, what did you call him at the rescue?” Harry switched gears as they finally made it through the traffic lights. 

“Hm, sunshine I think, I can’t see us shouting Sunshine across the park,” she mused. 

“Sunny? Or could be spelt S-O-N-N-Y?” Harry suggested.

“Fuck no, my auntie had a yappy little thing called Sonny when we were growing up and he was a little arsehole of a dog,” Y/N snorted. 

“Sonnys off the list then, what else is like sunshine… sunflower, nope can’t have it look like m’dog’s named after my own song,” Harry proposed before cutting himself off just as quickly as Y/N giggled.

“Hm, Sunflower, s’like my favourite painting,” Y/N mentioned as an aside.

“The Van Gogh one, right?” Harry clarified. 

“Mhmm.” 

“Vincent Van Gogh…” Harry said. “…Vincent… that’s cute,” Harry gave her a quick look. 

“That is cute, reckon he looks like a Vincent too,” she peered down at their new baby. 

“Loadsa nicknames from that too, Vince, Vinnie, Vin,” he listed. 

“Vincent Styles, his proper Sunday name” Y/N nodded. 

“My surname? Don’t want to double barrel it with yours?” Harry checked. 

“Well m’hoping one day we’ll all have matching surnames,” she said shyly. 

“Reckon that could be arranged, right Vincent?” he asked the dog who has stirred from his sleep. 

*** 

“Okay, wait right there, wait, wait, wait,” Harry said quickly as he parked them up at home as he got out the car and ran round the front of it, throwing open the passenger door to Vince letting out a squeaky sort of bark at the sight of his new Dad. Harry reached in and took Vinnie straight from Y/N’s arms to carry the dog into his new home.

“Oi, you little fucker, don’t steal our dog from me,” Y/N laughed as she got out the car following Harry up their front door as he tried to fight the keys into the lock while keeping Vince close to his chest. 

“He got loads of Mumma cuddles on the way home, s’my turn, right m’boy? Daddy gets a go now?” Harry spoke to the dog as he got a loving lick against his cheek as he passed Y/N the keys to let them in the house when he gave up trying to unlock the door. Before Y/N could slide the keys into the lock she took her phone and took a quick picture of Harry with his thumb up cradling a curious Vincent against his chest. His first picture with their boy. 

Y/N rolled her eyes as she opened their front door, “welcome home Vincent,” she sang as Harry carried him inside. 

“Welcome to your forever, Vincent,” Harry spoke as he set the dog down in the hallway where he immediately started sniffing and exploring, seemingly comforted by being surrounded by the scent of his new parents. 

***

21st of September 2022

“Vince!” Y/N shouted across the park as Harry let out a loud whistle with his fingers between his lips. The dog turned to face them with a guilty looking expression on his face, his paw hovering over the biggest, muddiest puddle he was able to find in the park. “Don’t even think about it Mister,” Y/N warned calling after the dog, his paw inching closer to the murky water. 

“Vincent, get your furry little arse back here, come see what Mum’s got for you,” Harry shouted this time, hoping to entice him away with the promise of a treat, and he did look tempted. Especially when Y/N rattled the treat bag but the promise of a big muddy puddle was just something too hard for him to fight. 

“He’s going to jump in,” Y/N said with a sigh. 

“He won’t, he won’t,” Harry tried to speak it into existence. 

“He will,” and with one large splash their golden retriever turned into a brown, muddy retriever. 

“For fuck’s sake,” they both groaned in unison as they watched Vincent roll onto his back to get himself thoroughly coated in the muddy water. 

“I thought he was supposed to be food driven,” Harry whined as Vincent removed himself from his mud bath and gave an almighty shake.

“Oh, he is, with everything else, that died a death for mud baths after the first muddy puddle,” Y/N giggled, already knowing they’re going to have to deep clean their bathroom after Vince’s bath time later. 

“You’re happy as a pig in shit, aren’t you?” Harry asked the dog as he trotted up to them, tail wagging happily, “yeah, you look like a pig in shit as well, mate.” 

“Two years today, we’ve had you Vin, and you’re still driving me and Dad to the brink aren’t you,” Y/N cooed, giving him a treat anyway, he deserved it today. 

“Wouldn’t change you for the world, m’boy,” Harry reached down to give him a scratch behind his ears, after all this time it was still his favourite scratch and pat to receive. Harry immediately regretting doing so as his hand came back caked in dirt. 

“Happy gotcha day, Vincent,” Y/N cheered as the continued their walk as Vincent barked in response. This time a full, booming bark full of personality, so much different than the little squeaks he gave them two years ago. 

***

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Taglist: @darlingdesire •

Shoot me an ask for taglist adds

[im-notbean]

Headcannons of; Quackity x Greek! Male! Reader

On god bro. I just really want somebody who speaks Greek on the QSMP. So in orderto cure this fantasy of mine I have now created this, sorry if you dont like the fact that Y/N is greek but I had to do it. Sooner or later okay-

⚠︎ Warning ⚠︎

Swearing

Some cultural things you might not understand

Might not be accurate to the cannon QSMP

This post has both Q!Quackity and CC!Quackity

Grammar mistakes

Characters might be a bit off to you

Mentions of Homophobia

Author kinda pools info about greek food-

If anything bothers you from above please, don't read!

CC!Quackity

・Your accent>>>>>>

・I'm sorry but he just loves it, especially when you pronounce certain words.

・Like saying yogurt and bread shit like that you know?

・If you say Alex in greek he gets scared- (Άλεξ [Álex] might not be accurate lol)

・Praise. Him. In. Greek.

・He get's so mad if you don't, goes full on Mexican on your ass-

・Quackity definitely respects your boundaries, so he'd ok with you not wanting to be public about your guy's relationship

・Especially with Twitter and shit (I refuse to call Twitter "X")

・Makes the funniest jokes and yall know those corny ass pick up lines

・Like "I wish you were my Xbox, cause I wanna play you all~~ night ♡"

・He definitely does those daily

・He can't cook for shit, so you have banned him from the kitchen

・It's always akward explaning that to your parents...

・Quackity loves it when you cook for him

・Especially Greek deserts (I'm just gonna fanboy over greek food for a hot minutes)

・Like tiramisu or like those almond cookies

・OR FUCKING BAKLAVA

・OR EVEN LOUKOUMADES

・Incase you don't know what I'm fanboying over, Tiramisu is an Italian dish so I'm not gonna go over it in much detail

・Basically a layered desert with espresso innit

・Baklava is one of the MOST iconic Greek deserts, it's layered with phyllo pastery, melted butter, and nuts!

・The most common are pistachios and walnuts by the way and theirs a layer of cinnamon-orange syrup pored over it once it is baked!

・Loukoumades are the Greek version of fried dough, their normally topped with honey, cinnamon, and walnuts.

・Anyway...

・He loves then sm

・If yall decide to make your relationship public, he wants you to decide how to do it.

・I personally believe you take over his stream one day as his "Special Guest"

・A cooking stream because y'know- it's iconic

・Your baking a classic greek disk.

・Gyro (Pronouced Yee-ro by the way)

・Basically Gyro is a dish that is a mix of lamb and beef (sometimes chicken too) that is made to fill pita bread.

・The sauce that is paired with is called tzatziki (it's really fucking good.) it normally has tomatos and onions and paied with greek fries.

・So your cooking the meat and stuff and Quackity just comes up behind you and you turn around right cause you know he's their

・So quickly, you bend down and kiss him.

・A little smooch before you kick him out th kitchen-

Q!Quackity

・You guys met on the train to the island.

・He tried talking to you but he seriously could not understand you, it wasas if you were speaking another language.

・When the government had paired people up, you didn't get a partner :(

・You also didn't really want an egg either, but you didn't mind babysitting them!

・Phil is so greatful for this-

・Quackity had heard about your egg sitting and decided to leave Tillin (I think i butchered this ngl) in your care

・Tillin loved you, she also liked the fact that she could understand you and offered as a translator.

・When Quackity came back he was surprised to see his own child translating what you were saying

・Once the new members joined you were assined partners with Tubbo (I am not sure if the new members have assigned parners ngl so...also are we getting new members today?)

・(Not even joking- ANYWAY LMAO)

・So y'know how Tubbo can get info out of Curchuro (prob butchered that again lol)

・You can do it also, sence your the only person on the server who can speak greek and not English he thinks the info he tells you is safe.

・You get Tillin to translate to Tubbo about what Curchuro tells you >:D

・Quackity learns about this and then he realized what the fuck is happening

・The he realized one day, you were gone.

・Along with the eggs.

・He never realized how much he liked you until you left...

・Quackity tried looking for you and the eggs

・But he never got far

・Tubbo also tried to help look for you, to no avail

・Not gonna lie, you and Phil got locked in a cage togther 😂

[justanothergoldfish]

Greg Lestrade x reader

Handsome stranger

pt. 1 pt.2 pt. 3

warnings: mentions of alcohol/drinking

word count: 950

A/N: this plays during the events of the episode 'Hounds of Baskerville'.

---

It was a rather slow afternoon, all the guests had settled in this morning. You checked the guest book and there were no more reservations booked for today. Since most guests were currently out with Fletcher, the guide for the Hound of Baskerville Tour, it was finally calming down in the “Cross Keys” hotel and bar. There was finally time to refill the ale and the fridge for the sodas. 

This entire story about this monster had brought in a lot of customers in the last month, which is why you were helping Gary, the owner and a family friend, out. He'd asked you to work for him part time so he had more time for management and the paperwork.

Billy stuck his head out from the kitchen and gave you an exhausted look. “You alright up front? We're busy prepping dinner back here, but if you need help just call, okay?” the ginger haired boy panted, wiping his hands on a towel. You just chuckled and nodded along, it was adorable how the staff was still treating you like a raw egg. 

“I'm fine, don't worry. Not my first time being a waitress” you smiled, patting his shoulder before he looked up to the bar. “Ah, customer.” he said, quickly nudging to the door as he retreated to the kitchen. 

You turned around to see a middle aged man with ashy gray hair and a beige, loose jacket. He wore a black button shirt and anthracite pants, on his face a black pair of sunglasses. 

Yeah, definitely a foreigner. 

You tightened your apron as you walked up to the bar, supporting yourself on the edge of the surface with both hands. 

“Hi, welcome to the Cross Keys.” you smiled as he looked around, hands buried in his pockets. 

“Mmh, nice cozy place, innit?” 

Ah, so he's from London. 

“Most definitely, Sir. Away from all the city trouble, it's pure heaven.” You smiled at him and he took off his shades, letting his eyes get used to the light in the room. 

Once they had adapted, he looked directly at you. Big mistake. His eyes were a gorgeous shade of chocolate brown, practically making you melt away at first sight.

No, get it out of your head. He's way too old and probably married.

“You don't happen to have any single rooms available for tonight, do you?” He asked, putting his hands back into his pockets. 

Or maybe not married. 

You pretended to check the bookings, chewing on your lip as you tried your best to look very focused in order not to smile. Despite his age, he was definitely a sight for sore eyes. 

As soon as you had yourself back together, you nodded and looked back up at the man. 

“Actually, we do. That'll be 120£, breakfast is already included and served in the dining room from 7.30 to 9.30 in the morning.” 

The man nodded and pulled out his wallet, “Sounds good. I'll take it.” he says, his voice dropping lower than before. It distracted you to the point you almost gave him the key without having him pay, hadn't he already reached out the money to you. 

“Oh, and your ID please.” you added, taking the money and putting it into the cash register. 

“Sure, one second.” He pulled out the card and placed it on the counter, shoving it over to you. As you took it, you quickly read through his information, calculating in your head. 

So he's 49, damn, from London. 1,80m tall… Gregory Lestrade… handsome man, handsome name. 

Gregory Lestrade. 

You pulled yourself out of your thoughts and cleared your throat, writing down his personal information into the guest book and handing the card back to him. 

“The rooms are upstairs, around the corner on the left.” you said, taking some of the already polished glasses and one by one wiping them down again, just to look busy and to have an excuse to stay up front for a while longer.

“Came to see the creature?” you grinned, and Lestrade seemed to be in thought for a moment. He took the key with the room number and his ID from the counter. 

“Sort of…” he grins to himself, leaning against the bar, hoping to catch a glimpse into the guest book. 

“I'm actually looking for.. uhm, a friend.”

You raised an eyebrow, wiping down another glass. “Oh, a woman?”

Lestrade can't help but huff. He shakes his head as he wets his lips, “Tall man with dark curly hair, probably wore a dark coat, collar turned up for the dramatic effect. Occasionally acts like a drama queen though.” 

Yeah, that rang a bell. 

“With his shorter boyfriend?”

Lestrade took a seat on a barstool, snorting at your confident words. He tries his best not to grin and laugh out loud. 

“Yeah, his, er… boyfriend.” He mumbles in amusement. “So they are here, good. Listen, I'll bring my bag to my room and I'll be right back for a drink. I'll probably need it.”

You put the glass down and tucked the cloth back into the belt of your apron. 

“Great idea. I've just opened a brand new keg of Guinness if you're interested? I'll be here if you need anything else, Mr. Lestrade.” you smile sweetly, taking his appearance in once again. 

Lestrade turned his head back to you as he walked to the door with an amused grin. “Guinness sounds wonderful, and you can just call me Greg, love.” 

Watching him go, you just stood there behind the bar, staring and smiling in awe like a dork. 

Greg Lestrade.

What a handsome stranger...

[dzamie]

Possibly a weird question, but you might have the answer:

I went online to buy some chocolate coins for a gaming party, and about half the listings indicated that the coins were for Hanukkah (and were therefore on sale, though they were the wrong color for my party). Do you know why that might've been?

Yeah, it's because of ancient (maybe Roman?) persecution of Jews. See, way back when, it really sucked to be Jewish. It still sucks today, but it also sucked back then. It was actually pretty illegal to teach and practice Judaism, which really put a damper on that whole "passing down community traditions" thing.

Luckily, gambling was cool, as was lying to cops. See, if it was around Chanukah time, and you were telling the youths about how the Maccabees pwned the army and were rewarded with a tiny bit of long-lasting oil, and then the cops busted in the door like "oi wot's all this then," being seen talking about the glory days of beating up people who tried to eradicate your religion would be bad for your physical health. However! If the cops instead saw a bunch of these weird Hebrews gambling with spinning tops, well that's just good old-fashioned fun, now innit? Carry on, lads, glad to see there's no monotheism going on around here.

But the joke's on them, of course, because even the tops themselves were a mnemonic for "a great miracle happened there," referring to when God was so pleased with us for continuing to be Jewish that He let us use a lamp for way longer than is usually possible. So the cop turns his back and the ancient Jews go back to religion things.

Anyway, this all becomes a tradition: Chanukah comes 'round, get out the dreidels and gamble (or at least pretend). But naturally, some people want to be involved in the spinning top game, but don't want to wager actual legit money. So: chocolate coins instead!

As far as I'm aware, Chanukah is one of the biggest consistent reasons people buy chocolate coins (we may be 1-2% of the population, but basically everyone who can buy them, buys them. Annually.), so it's not too surprising a lot of the gelt you see is listed as "for Chanukah."

From what I know of Christianity, I think this is like you looking for plastic eggs (for props in a bird-themed game or something) and finding that, for some reason, a lot of plastic eggs are listed as "for Easter."

[pitbullwithaship]

DOCTOR WHO LIVEBLOG S4 EP8

Okay this is Silence in the Library and I've heard it's insane and weird and scary and maybesad(?) So. It's time

That's a cute little girl floating in midair

That's a gorgeous library, the kind I've always wanted to visit

Is this a psychoevaluation or something

Okay something is there

OMG ITS THE DOCTOR AND DONNA

I live jow they're just like oh hello tiny girl great day innit

I love books

That's a gorgeous library Jesus christ

Amazing

Yeah Donna spoilers tsk tsk

Ooh suspiciously empty

Sundays are pretty boring

Oh wow that's a large amount of living creatures

Silence

I love them just so much

That's a creepy person head egg face robot thing

Ah ominous message

COUNT THE SHADOWS HWHOT

Only kinda sorta lied

The shadows approach incredibly ominously and slowly

Oh they sped up

Yay Donna on the kick open

The little girl is a security camera then is that why they're interrogating her

It's dark

I hit myself on the head sometimes too, (the doctor is a neurodivergent icon)

Girlie

River Song!!!!!! I've heard of her!!

I like Archeologists they're nerds

The Doctor and Donna are icons

Maybe it's not irra- THATS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY

Vashta Nerada ooOooOoooOOooOooOooO

PRETTY BOY lol

Don't be a dick to the personal assistant girl

Okay so they're dickheads

THE DIARY

Aww poor River Song

THE PHONE AND THE LITTLE GIRL AND THE ALARM AND THE SECURITY SYSTEM AND-

Those are good drawings

Curiosity fucked with the timelines and killed a fair few cats

Weaponised books

I like the personal assistant girl she seems nice

Mr Lux don't be Mr Fucks

Assistant girl don't go wandering off

Yeah Lux pay attention

ASSISTANT GIRL BE CAREFUL IM SORRY I DONT KNOW YOUR NAME

This is creepy as hell

SCREAM NO

Oh shit oh damn oh shit that's terrifying oh shit oh dear

RIP Miss Evangelista

Oh that's really horrifying and sad

Speak Donna

Oh my God that's torturous

Aww Doctor trying to comfort her

THE REAL WORLD IS A LIE HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCK ONLY HER

Donna why are you being weird

Aww River Song knows about her

Oh oh Donna

AIR PIRHANAS THATS SO COOL

Oh fuck oh fuck he's got two shadows that's fucking horrifying

Aww that's adorable she has a matching screwdriver

Tries to send her away

Actually sends her away

What! What! What! What! She screamed! What!

Oh shit it's in his suit

Okay he's dead

Oh shit his fucking skeleton is possessed

That's horrifying

SQUARENESS GUN WOW

SHE SAVED DONNA WHAT

OH FUCK OH FUCK DONNA IS THE EGG ROBOT THING THAT IS NOT IN ANY WAY BETTER

Oh poor Doctor oh poor Donna

OH FUCK A CLIFFHANGER I HATE THAT AND I DONT HAVE TIME TO WATCH MORE

[yuttikkele]

All Homestuck References, Similarities, and Contrasts in the Dream SMP

I have compiled a list of all the Homestuck references that I’ve found in the DSMP. These DEFINITELY weren’t intentional, as the only CC that I’ve seen talk about Homestuck with any understanding was Jack Manifold, and he only just knew about it. I believe there are probably more that I’ve overlooked, so if you find any more, please tell me!

Homestuck and the DSMP are both multimedia creations that had lots of viewer influence and became something much bigger than originally planned.

Homestuck is known for how extremely long and crazy it was. The same can be said for the DSMP since a lot of nonsensical shenanigans occur, AND there is SO much footage and perspectives and non-lore of the DSMP that I HOPE there isn’t a person who has watched ALL of it (like Tubbo’s daily 10 hour streams…).

Dave and TommyInnit similarities: brother problems, red baseball shirt, disc motif, blonde, combined with a bird in another universe, related to a crow in some way (philza and davesprite), creepy puppet (Lil Cal and Uncle Nasty), Eburnean Tommy AU is BASICALLY just Dave (white hair, blank expression, dead Tommys everywhere)

Terezi has Dave make tons of money doing “business” stuff. Tommy had a “business” brand going on at multiple points mostly because of Schlatt influence (Business Bay, Business Boys, InnitInc, Camarvan, The Big Innit Hotel).

Caliborn and TommyInnit similarities: Tommy talks exactly like Caliborn, they both cause most problems that occur, they both hate lovey-dovey stuff that is barely even lovey-dovey, they both have a complicated relationship with women that is seen as misogynistic (Caliborn is actually misogynistic while Tommy has Said Some Things), they both have a relation to That Green Thing (Doc Scratch and Dream), Annoying At FirstTM, both have an affinity for a puppet doll they both recognize as extremely creepy (Lil Cal and Uncle Nasty), Tommy has made his own “Homosuck” via writing a terrible fanfiction of himself, Tubbo, and Molly and (presumably) drawing pictures for it.

TommyInnit is basically the Davekat lovechild, and it really LOOKS like it if you imagine the demon Tommy design. BUT he is what I’d say is a fair mix of Dave, Karkat, and John. -Dave: motifs and situation -Karkat: brashness, loudness, and mannerisms -John: Protagonist-ness, humor, morals, and role in the story. Tommy also takes Caliborn’s personality, pretty much making him the chaotic neutral Caliborn.

In TommyInnit’s quote book, he mentions throwing a frog into a volcano, something that happens in Homestuck. On top of that, during this section, there is some very religious subtext akin to the frog in Homestuck.

Bro’s death is a lot like Wilbur’s (TommyInnit’s “bro’s”) death. Bro is stabbed through the chest with his own sword by Jack Noir (someone with crow motifs). Wilbur is stabbed (usually fanonly portrayed as being stabbed through the chest) by his own sword by Philza (someone with crow motifs).

Ranboo is basically a cherub. The mechanics of his character perfectly align with the mechanics of a prepubescent or malfunctioned cherub. They go to sleep, the other side wakes up and takes over the body. One side only wants good and for everyone to get along, while the other side has done despicable things. There’s also red/green and black/white motifs (though, the black/green motifs are assumed to be the “good” side for Ranboo rather than white/green). Ranboo’s cake can also be seen as his juju. The only thing is that cherubs do not have enderman traits like Ranboo does.

Badboyhalo is basically Kankri. Badboyhalo looks strikingly similar to the Sufferer. Neither swear. They both are tied to religion (BBH—the egg, Kankri—himself). But, I don’t think Kankri has an obsession with his best friend, and BBH’s typing “quirk” is more like Aradia’s.

Dream looks similar to Doc Scratch. Both are antagonists. Doc Scratch is basically a “mask” for Caliborn. Doc Scratch pretends to be nice and accommodating to Damara like Dream was to Tommy even though they were both clearly holding them prisoner. Doc Scratch and cc!Dream both uh, shouldn’t be around children.

Jack Manifold resembles Sollux because of the red and blue motifs, short hairstyle, and Jack’s old IGN being Thunder1408 (thunder sorta like lightning sorta like Sollux’s telekinesis/lightning attributes). Jack Manifold was also sent to hell which led to a complicated death count, sorta like Sollux being half dead.

Dirk writing Homestuck and Wilbur writing the DSMP.

I like to say that Minecraft was the IRL Sburb-that-wasn’t-Sburb because it first became public in 2009 not long after 4/13 and was released again in November 2011 not unlike some other sandbox game centered around crafting.

In Minecraft, a person creates a world to begin, but in Sburb, they create the world to end.

Both stories have a “lives” system, an afterlife system, a revival system, and “ghosts”. The characters can interact with each other in the afterlife in both.

Both stories have a “paradox space” system. The DSMP universe acknowledges that there are other “worlds,” “servers,” and “universes” that don’t include the DSMP. There is also time travel as seen with Karl that also shows us there was a history to the DSMP world. Homestuck, obviously, has its paradox space of different universes and all their instances.

Both stories have a “canon.” Homestuck’s canon is The Alpha Timeline, and anything that doesn’t fit in that mold gets destroyed. The DSMP also has a canon, but it’s seen more as a fourth wall breaking joke. If something that’s not supposed to happen happens, they will just retcon it. We don’t know if the DSMP has a multiverse where things happen differently, and if it does, we don’t know if it gets to stay or if it gets destroyed. Even with these differences, both stories use the word canon in silly situations.

It is worth noting that there are “alternate universes” of the DSMP where the characters do not seem to have a recollection of the DSMP or things prior and are more of a separate entity than the DSMP timeline. For reference, a DSMP character’s timeline usually spans the whole of the CC’s career. But, these alternate universes are not called “the DSMP,” and don’t really count.

Karl doesn’t seem to affect the canon with his time travel. He is a spectator that can interact with the story when he time travels, and nothing he does will change the future or past. There isn’t anything like this in Homestuck, but there is the compliment, with John who can time travel and fully reroute the story.

Both stories have a “scratch” where the world is reset, and the characters reappear with no memory of the world before.

Techno’s false name was “Dave.”

Both have a character whose hair generally covers their eyes in most designs, has dyslexic symptoms, is obsessed with bees, and their aspect is doom (Tubbo and Mituna).

Both fandoms have babied the character described above before they finally snapped out of it.

The Ultimate Weapon Sburb symbol juju reminds me of 4/4 SBI.

Both fandoms strive on AUs, headcanons, and versatility of character design.

Both fandoms have an instinctive reaction when they hear “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

The fandoms of both are famously known for being extremely annoying.

Both Andrew Hussie and Wilbur Soot have used AO3 to make, basically, a fanfiction of their own work. Both of these “fanfictions” are dubiously canon.

Wilbur was born in 1996, the same year John and Jane were born, which makes Wilbur just slightly younger than the two.

Tommy makes an appearance on the QSMP using other people's accounts, and when he makes these appearances, he basically appears as c!Tommy (he references DSMP events in the context that he was there). In QSMP fanon (which is basically canon unless proven otherwise), Tommy is the god of chaos. The Tommy from the DSMP appears in the QSMP as a god. So, Tommy died, became a god, and he went to another universe. Quite possibly, he died, went godtier, then found a way to escape to another universe before the DSMP restarted or "scratched." Which probably means the QSMP is the new universe that was created when winning the game.

[grimaussiewitch]

Mcyt test tube baby headcanons:

(This is all for fun and is only the characters that the creators presents. I have zero clue if anyone here is an actual test tube baby and even then, real life ivf is way different then whatever I wrote here)

Jaiden: federation Jaiden headcanon/theory goes hand in hand with test tube creation. Just make a baby to work for you.

Grian: look at him. He was not naturally created.

Scar: something about that face feels like it was plastered onto a baby. Like you have a baby floating in a tube and it just has a smirk and wide, unblinking eyes. Somehow born with scars.

Wilbur: “but what about Kristen and Phil!” Nah, the two did some sort of science or magic to make the baby and the Samsung fridge was the surrogate. He was developing along side vegetables. Embryo Wilbur was probably frozen for six months in the freezer part of the fridge too.

Docm77: a creeper that is also a player and enjoys redstone, aka the closest to science in minecraft. Sounds like an experiment to turn mobs into players.

Zedaph: another case of science esq man. Probably makes clones of himself. If not, a sheep magically transforming into zedaph at random.

Foolish: technically kind of canon?? Only if you really think about it. I mean he had to totems be his kids on the dsmp so someone probably made him. How are totems made…

Tommyinnit: lab innit my beloved. Feral energy that can only be contained in a science tube.

Etho: is Canadian.

Mumbo jumbo: the tube was a Pringles can.

Tubbo: he just has the vibes.

Scott smajor: this man is on nearly every smp, at lest one of him was made in a lab. Which one? I do not know.

Shubble: not through a biology lab but the magical equivalent. Season 1!empires was from a mushroom or flower, season 2 is via witch magic. Stirring some good soup and bam! A baby.

Skeppy: is a test tube baby in the way blocks and objects are made through a crafting table.

Pearlescentmoon: no rhyme or reason. She just is. Just picture stardust slushing around in a tube. That’s Pearl.

Literally any mob player ever, especially slime: they either came conscious or was goop in a lab.

Prince Zam: I don’t know much about life steal or Prince Zam but he just has the vibes you know?

Xisumavoid/Evil X: you know how identical twins are made through eggs splitting? Yeah that’s these two. But once fully split they got extra dna thrown into them, just to spice things up. One became more “evil” and the other “British”

[infinitethree]

With the immediate crisis mostly resolved– bar the more long-term issue of what to do about Innit, of course– that means Aster can fucking breathe.

Sure, Daz…pretty much hates him right now. And Theo and Day are a little pissed at him too, even if they largely agree that his actions were for the greater good.

But the immediate issue of Daz trying to off himself has been stopped, and the bastard is being forced to deal with some of his shit.

What had been a fairly pleasant morning in his kitchen with frozen pancakes, sausage, eggs, and a protein drink has been hijacked, though. Aster can feel the fucking Observers present, and given the lack of questions…

He’s about to learn some horrible new information about Daz. Information that will only increase the burden on Aster’s shoulders and Daz’s fury towards him.

Right on cue, his everything his hijacked to show–

Huh. It’s…the Christmas celebration-gala-thing.

Except that, uh, it’s not one he recognizes. Usually they kind of blend together, and Aster doesn’t often stay that long, but he would definitely remember this happening.

…Because he’s watching himself dancing with Daz.

No, he realizes. Not just dancing– they’re wearing matching suits.

This doesn’t seem to be one of the times when he’s in Daz’s head, thankfully, and he has some limited range of movement. He floats down closer to try and get a better look at himself and the bastard.

Both of them seem happy. Maybe more than happy; they look like they’re entirely engrossed in each other.

Weird!

“I can’t take my eyes off of you,” Daz murmurs, tone warm and fond in a way Aster has never heard before. “That’s my line,” other-Aster chuckles, his smile growing.

Daz tells him, “I don’t get to make stuff like this often; it’s nice seeing you in something so nice. I can tell you think it doesn’t suit you. You’re wrong, though.”

Wait wait wait– he made that? So then they’re dating? Is this the future, and they date? Date and get serious enough that Daz claims him?!

“You shine just as brightly as your namesake on the inside. I’ve only put that awe-inspiring sight where everyone else can see it too,” Daz tells other-Aster.

…Despite having no interest in this sort of thing, Aster can’t help but feel a little flustered by that. Shit, this bastard is smoother than he ever thought possible. If Daz showed any interest in romance, he’d have a string of broken hearts trailing after him.

When other-Aster just seems awed, Daz laughs softly and leans in. “Was that too poetic? Sorry, let me be blunter. I was able to dive down and see what your soul truly looks like. This is inspired by what I saw. Even with code tinkering, it pales in comparison to the real thing.”

And then, just to make it absolutely clear what kind of relationship they have, Daz drips other-Aster backwards into a long, deep kiss.

Other-Aster, far from fighting it, just slides his arms up around Daz’s neck.

Once the kiss finally breaks, Daz’s stare bores into other-Aster’s. “You stole my heart, but I can’t even be mad about it. Nothing in my life has ever been as good as you. Your devotion is the balm against the long, lonely, miserable years that led me here. With you at my side, I could take on gods. Without you, I have less than nothing. My deepest, most fervent fantasy is the one you already know; to die peacefully of old age in my sleep alongside you. Neither of us leaving the other, instead simply refusing to accept even a moment being so far apart. To the point of madness; to the point of ruin– I love you.” It looks like other-Aster is tearing up a little as he eventually croaks, “It’s a shame we’re already married. That’d be a hell of a marriage proposal.”

Aster’s not-entirely-existent eyes go wide as he realizes that they’re both wearing fancy netherite ear cuffs; stars-themed with basalt for Daz, dark shiny stones and swirls for other-Aster.

And then he’s sent somewhere else.

A wedding– their wedding?

He’s left reeling as he watches Day walk other-Aster down the aisle and–

Innit is there. Innit is not just there, Innit is handing Daz off to other-Aster.

Whatever the vows are, Aster doesn’t process them. He’s too busy freaking out about Innit being actively present in Sanctuary, and how nobody seems to be batting an eye.

Abruptly, Aster finds himself back home and staring down at his food.

That’s definitely not anything that’s happened so far, so–

In the future, he and Daz get married. And Innit gets a body…but is chill enough to be able to give Daz away at the wedding?

He’s pretty sure that if he could have heard Daz’s thoughts for that, it would have been just…love. It was so blatant on his face, and in the stupidly romantic gesture of making and wearing a representation of Aster’s soul.

It almost makes sense, in a weird way. Isn’t there a whole trope about people who hate each other hooking up? It’s just flipping from one side of an axis of strong emotion to the other.

On the other hand, though, it’s still him and Daz. The two of them barely tolerated each other before all of the current events, and now Daz actively hates him.

In what fucking world do they get past that and start dating– let alone get married?

…Wait a fucking second.

Is this a hint? Is this, like– what he’s meant to do, to get Daz to a more stable place? Pretend to fall for him, and make Daz love him?

Holy shit, he’s really not sure if he’s comfortable pretending to love Daz in order to anchor him in reality. No matter how much a little part of him points out that other-Aster seemed pretty damn thrilled to be with him, it’s still super fucked up.

Also, y’know, if Daz ever realized the truth, it would be crushing. It could do so much more harm than good.

Then why did other-Aster do it, then? What did he learn that made him decide to either pretend to fall for him or actually fall for him?

For once, he wishes he could have seen more.

[delicehm]

HEADCANON TIME!

There are plenty of divine figures and each of them has a vision of how the world must look like and mortals they want to succeed. There are many disagreements within godly community. Compramissions can't be made, but war of such powerful beings would demolish the whole universe and looking for new one would be tiresome. Instead, every group of divine figures in any universe have something, that looks like game. Such games have different names and rules, but always are about manipulating mortals to achieve their goals without direct interventions. They may look like game of chess, but they aren't even remotely similar.

Members of divine game in Dream SMP:

1. DreamXD. First guardian of Dream SMP. The one, who created it's world and gave it the name. Created the rules for it's divine game, that every other members agreed with. One of three best players. Stole Foolish from Mother Innit(she didn't mind it). Pretends to be divine patron of Dream, but in fact patronise George. He believe that stories have meaning only if they have end and so want every mortal to die, bringing the end to his perfect symphony

2. Mother Innit. Goddess of Life. One of three best players. In fact, she was so good, that XD could outsmart her only after years of trying to put her guard down. Divine patron of Tommy. Want the world to evolve on it's own, but will make sure, that her son would be safe and happy. Brought Kristin, her business(if it can be called like that) partner, to Game

3. Kristin. Goddess of Death. Qualified player, but does not take game seriously. She has her own realm to give little care about the world of living. Divine patron of Philza and, basically, just tries to make sure, that he will be happy in the end. During game, give some advices to Sally

4. Sally. Goddess of Ocean. Has literally no idea how to play, but tries her best(and still every move is terrible). At first was divine patron of Wilbur, but lost faith in him and began to patronize Fundy. It didn't help him mich. Youngest of Gods, if we don't count Karl Major. Appreciate Kristin's mentoring

5. Karl Major. God of Time. At first, was just ordinary Karl Jacobs, the Time Traveler. After Incident learnt everything about time traveling that Inbetween could teach and spent so many years trying to fix everything with those powers, but failing every time. Each time he tried, he lost parts of connection to the Time(he learnt, how to keep memories, but sacrifices are needed), until ascended above it. Now, tries to create the best timeline from new position. Divine patron of Karl Minor, his younger version. Stole Overseers of Inbetween and Other Side from DreamXD. Dream didn't like it. While others play "Chess", he plays "5D chess with multi universal time traveling", still failing in most timelines

6. Blood God. Pretty self-explanatory(Not just blood tho, power, rage, war and justice all are his symbols. In a way, Nether is his domain). Divine patron if Techno. With Mother Innit about allowing the world to evolve on it's own, but want to create a system, that will make this evolving just and fair. Created a fragile faction with Kristin And Mother Innit due to similar views

7. Egg. Creature of Corruption. Pet of DreamXD. NOT A PLAYER, but comes from time to time to flip the table. When it happens, everyone shout at it and tries to put away.

[atthebell]

This isn't really prompted by anything but this fandoms obsession with angst I think it's from how dsmp ccs made their characters suffer to get idk the best reaction from fans even tho it didn't really make sense narrative wise

What gets me with the qsmp tho is you would get your angst but also be rewarded for it. Like for example cellbit focusing on a puzzle which eventually tells us more about the federation or bagi using clues to solve a mystery, fit and foolish having their own roles to play within too. Felps being kidnapped but saving him lets in the audience on what the feds are like (and tbf it was the first kidnapping so it felt p new)

Egg disappearance arc tho is where I've had enough angst (I don't think there was really a plan like why did eggs leave on their own, who's this guy with the single eye etc etc)

finally at my computer so i can answer this okay i disagree somewhat with your first point and i'll explain why. also this might seem more aggro than i mean it to be i just like talking and swear a lot

first thing: i dont think dsmp ccs were making their characters suffer just to get a reaction out of fans. i think this is a deeply pessimistic and just obviously untrue take on the server and the ccs. it is VERY clear that several of them just deeply enjoy sad stories and that's where they wanted to go with things.

also think about this outside the context of minecraft roleplay for a moment. the dsmp narrative is a story that, from the outset of genuine quote unquote lore kicking up, involved a war; everything that followed, as lore became more and more serious, had to then take the implications of that seriously. war is a deeply awful and traumatizing thing. do you want them to have not taken that seriously? do you want people to never tell dark or tragic stories and talk about the real effects of certain events on people's psyches and relationships? because while i am not an angst enjoyer, as i've said many times, i do think people have the right to tell dark and sad and raw stories. my issue is more the fandom obsession with angst that goes beyond my tolerable level and becomes overwhelming, which i'll get into later in this post; not an issue with sadness and tragedy being portrayed in mcrp (or any story) at all. do i like constant tragedy in my media? no. but for the dsmp and qsmp both that isn't the case, so it's not relevant here really.

i in part understand where you're coming from here, in that fans were SO obnoxious and because interactivity was so much more present in this type of medium, fans had way more influence on the narrative than is typical of fiction. so there were definitely times where people had to change their plans due to how they thought fans would react, although i would argue this was more common with like. women on the server trying not to piss off inniters rather than tommy deciding that fans would kill him if he didn't have c!tommy try and drown himself. like sure i think there were plenty of times that ccs went "ooh, fans will eat this up," but they probably would've done it regardless. i think it's just really uncharitable to assume that it was more due to wanting a good reaction from fans than ccs' genuine desire to take their characters in that direction.

and i'm gonna be real i don't think the fandom obsession with angst actually does come from the canon itself. i think these canons are not overwhelmingly sad, even dsmp, and that the idea that they are is due more to the tragic circumstances surrounding their endings and their controversies than about the actual events of canon. qsmp is not actually a tragedy, in terms of narrative (i'm ignoring the stupid final ending shit i truly don't understand why anyone accepts that as canon; they needed to write a send-off that would wrap things up enough but wasn't overly complicated. it worked for what they needed, which was a goodbye, but otherwise it's narratively stupid and irrelevant). the tragedy is more in how it all fell apart in real life than the story of the whole things itself. and individual ccs deciding to make their character's stories into tragedies does not make the larger narrative (which does exist and matters) itself a tragedy. and the dsmp also isn't a tragedy or an angst fest; there are certainly deeply sad moments, but it's not all doom and gloom.

again my issue is fandom obsession with angst, not the content of the smps themselves. and the biggest reason beyond personal annoyance that i'm confounded about the obsession with angst is that it's completely disproportional to how it works in other fandoms. if you're a longtime fandom person you're probably aware of this, but the angstier a story is, the more likely that the fandom is obsessed with fluff and magical fix-its that solve everything and make sure everyone stays alive. this is the case almost universally, but mcyt, apparently, is a huge exception. people are OBSESSED with ruminating on the tragic parts of canon and then creating even sadder situations to put characters through. it's bizarre and weird and i do not understand it one iota. where are all the fluffy everyone lives and gets ice cream together fics????? why are inniters addicted to putting that child through even worse torment??? why is no one writing happy endings for their ships????? what is with like insane amounts of DD:DNE fic where it's just the most miserable non-ending lack of catharsis imaginable?? THAT is what's weird to me.

and on that last point i've talked about it a lot before but catharsis is really what's missing for me when it comes to angst in this fandom. i'm not a huge sad stories/tragedies fan personally, but i am willing to read them, and when i do, what makes a really good one is catharsis. there is something to a sad story that hits all its beats and makes you feel like you've just cried it out and can finally breath again that does, on occasion, hit for me. but that's something completely missing from the angst in this fandom. there is no catharsis. there is no breath of relief. it's just stress and stress and more stress, all leading up to nothing, leaving you unsatisfied and depressed.

listen, people can do whatever the hell they want forever. i'm not telling anyone they should personally stop writing angst. i'm just baffled as to why so many people are obsessed with it in this fandom in particular and as a fluff enjoyer i am in constant misery.

anyway, on your other points: i think you're right on the point about reward, although i would frame it more as the catharsis that i'm talking about as missing from fandom angst. qsmp had sad moments, and frustrating moments, narratively, but those moments (when the writing was actually good) often led to bouts of information, new relationships, a shift in the story that would take it to new places. it was devastating but it was exciting. and the ccs knew what to do with those moments, as talented rpers, and how to dig their character into a hole and then find a way to get them out again. like, if qcellbit's whole story as a character had just been him getting nonstop bodied by the federation, that would've sucked. that would not have been fun to watch! but that's not what it was. he had moments of victory, even with losses he found out information, like you said, and that was important! even with the stupid fucking reprehensible minimes event, which is the MOST negative i ever saw cellbit about the server (still not that negative, he never complained very much and was very polite despite being, like myself, a serial complainer), he still learned a bunch of information! they learned what the federation did and didn't know about the eggs disappearance, about forever's trip into the nether, about some of the inner workings of the federation. AND despite how stupid it was, cellbit, as a very talented rper and writer himself, managed to spin it into a great character moment.

the eggs disappearance was just fucking evil i will never forgive all of that. i remember on fucking SEPTEMBER 10TH (2 days in!!) i was like hey do they have like. a plan, or what.... and then we found out later no they did not. so. that's a great example of angst via negligence and stupidity. at a certain point it was more tiring than sad because it was just ridiculous how little information anyone had. i will curse that arc til the day i die seriously

[lilacella]

This is the smut free version of this chapter. If you would prefer to read the spicy version click here.

This chapter and the next one will be lil angsty, so brace yourself if you have to. I promise you, everything will be resolved

Nightsky

Chapter 5: It's rotten work

First Previous Next

Remus awoke to the sounds of the birds singing by the window. Just that the birds happened to be pigeons and were making quite a ruckus.

He squinted his eyes in annoyance and tried to get back to sleep, in vain. He sighed and tilted his head to see if Sirius was awake too, but he was still sleeping peacefully on Remus chest. A strand of his black hair had fallen accross his face. He looked so adorable, Remus could barely stop himself from grabbing his head to cover it in kisses. But he couldn't wake Sirius up. The man deserved his sleep.

The past year had been pretty strenuous for Sirius. Cursebreaker training was hard, even for him and he rarely got the opportunity to sleep in, like today.

Remus begann to gently stroke his boyfriends hair. He would never get used to how soft it was. Touching it made Remus hands feel tingly, it was absurd.

He loved moments like that, especially now that the time he got to spend with Sirius had become more sparse. Some days they didn't even get to see eachother at all, because Sirius was so busy. "It would be easier if you just moved in with me," Sirius would suggest lightheartedly everytime Remus complained about missing him. But Remus didn't want that.

Not that Sirius London maisonette apartment wasn't nice. It really was. And quite tastefully furnished as well. Maybe that was what made Remus always feel a little out of place between all the muted cream colors and minimalistic decor. Sirius had asked him for his opinions when decorating the flat but Remus had shut him down everytime. It wasn't right. This was Sirius place, not his so Sirius should pick what he liked.

So Remus still lived with his father and only stayed over occasionally. Usually when Sirius had a free day coming up.

Sirius started shifting, waking up and blinked at him sleepily.

"Morning," he mumbled.

"Morning, love," Remus responded fondly. Sirius shuffled up so his head was next to Remus'.

"Slept well?"

Remus hummed affirmatively. "Until the bloody pigeons woke me up." He gestured at the window.

"Hmmm London, innit?"

"Got to love it." They shared a chuckle. Sirius gently kissed his cheek. Remus felt his warm breath on his ear.

"Breakfast?"

After they had finally peeled themselves out of bed they both showered and went down the spiral staircase to the open kitchen and living area downstairs.

"What are you in the mood for?" Sirius asked while checking the contents of the pantry.

Remus shrugged. "Whatever you got. I'll make some tea." Sirius shot him a smile and proceeded to pull out eggs and bacon from the cabinet.

"Got any plans for today?" He asked while filling up the kettle.

Sirius shook his head. "I'm all yours."

Remus smiled. "That's nice. We don't get that often."

Sirius stepped over and wrapped his arms around him from behind, resting his chin on Remus shoulder.

"I'm sorry. It will get better once I'm done with training, I promise."

Remus stroked his hands gently. "It's fine, I understand. I just miss you when you're gone."

Sirius pressed a tender kiss to his neck. "I miss you too, Moons." He gently nuzzled Remus neck. "You know, it would be easier if..."

"No," Remus interrupted him gentle but firmly.

"Why not?" Sirius pulled back, a little frustrated. "I really don't understand why you're so adamant about living with your dad. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's great but...I mean it's been almost a year."

"I told you, I cannot afford the rent."

"And I already told you that I can cover it!"

"And I don't want that! So stop pressing already." The kettle began to whistle and they glared at each other quietly.

"Fine." Sirius said, pointedly and began passive aggressively slapping bacon into a pan.

Breakfast had been tense but their mood got better after taking a little stroll through the nearby park. It had become one of their favorite spots, Remus enjoyed the little green refuge between swathes of apartment buildings and the bustling streets of London and Sirius loved watching the ducks in the pond. They sat down on one of the benches and enjoyed the warm summer air.

Sirius brushed his fingers against Remus' and Remus took his hand, squeezing it lightly to signal, that things were okay. Sirius relaxed a little next to him.

"So how is the job hunt going?"

Remus sighed. He'd liked to avoid that topic.

"Not well. There just aren't many jobs where it doesn't matter if you're absent one week every month." Sirius grimaced.

"Sorry."

"Not your fault." They fell back into silence for a moment, before Remus continued. "I might be able to get a part time job at the book store in our village. The owner knew me since I was a child so I don't think he views me as much of a danger...But I don't know how much he'll be able to pay me."

Sirius perked up. "But that sounds good, doesn't it? Working in a bookshop. Sounds like something you'd like."

Remus laughed. "I am more than just a bookworm, Sirius. I've got other intrests as well."

"And what would that be," Sirius teased.

"Well I find the creatures of the bog quite fascinating and I do read a lot about..."

"Exactly my point. You read."

Remus rolled his eyes but couldn't quite argue with that. He slid down a little and dropped his head on Sirius shoulder who immediately leaned against him in return.

**

"Why are you so mad?"

"I'm not mad."

"You act like it." Sirius crossed his arms and leaned against the kitchen counter. They had just returned from a bar, it had supposed to be a date. But on his way back from the bathroom, some - very good looking - guy had chatted Sirius up. Sirius had turned him down but the short interaction and the way the guy had looked at Sirius ass while he walked back to their table had been enough to set Remus off. He hadn't meant to say anything but Sirius had noticed his bad mood and pressed until he had. And now they were here. Fighting once more.

"I didn't even do anything," Sirius said.

"I didn't say that you did."

"Then why are you like that? The entire fucking evening. You know how annoying that is?"

"Well I am sorry my presence ruined our date night."

"That is not what I said," Sirius barked back, angrily. "You are behaving as if it's my fault that guy hit on me."

"No. I don't think that. I am merely...," Remus let out a breath of frustration. "You should have talked to him."

"What?!"

"Well, yeah. You always say that you don't want anyone else but you never really talk to anyone but me right? So how can you now?"

Sirius stared at him in utter disbelief mixed with a hint of desperation.

"What the fuck Remus. What is that supposed to even mean?"

"Well, I was your first. You never kissed anyone but me. How can you know that you like me best? Aren't you worried that you are missing out, if you just settle for...like that?"

"No! Remus what the hell! I can't win with you can I?" Sirius voice was suddenly thick with tears. Remus felt a lump in his throat.

Sirius let out a desperate sigh and wiped his eyes.

"I'm going to bed," he stated blankly and walked upstairs.

Remus spent a couple minutes, sitting on one of the kichen chairs. Contemplating whether or not he should leave. He finally decided to stay.

He thought that if he just went home now he might never return.

So he walked up the spiral stairs and quietly opened the bedroom door. It was dark but Remus could hear Sirius quietly sniffle. His heart ached. He hated to make Sirius cry. Why was he even able to hurt him like that? He shouldn't be.

He carefully laid down on the bed and wrapped his arms around Sirius, spooning him. They both didn't say anything but Sirius interlaced their fingers and pressed his back a little closer against Remus chest.

**

"We finally found a house," James announced proudly during one of their weekly pub nights. James and Lily had planned to move in with each other since they had finished their Auror training but it had taken them a whole year to find something that they were both happy with. It had to be suitable for a family, since they were both excited to have kids in a few years. James had told Sirius, that if it was only up to him he would be ready for a child right now, but he didn't want to pressure Lily and also he still hadn't proposed yet. Another important plan for the near future. James had already asked him for advice on which ring to get.

"That's great," Sirius beamed. "Where are you moving to?"

"Lincolnshire," Lily replied smiling excitedly. "The house is wonderful. You guys will love it!"

She turned to Peter. "And how is it going with Christie? Do tell!"

Peter had recently aquired a new girlfriend. They had met her once, she seemed nice enough, Sirius thought. A little bland but so was Peter.

"Oh it's going great, she'll drop by later. She's still working."

"At St. Mungos right?" Remus asked.

Peter nodded. "But she is looking to transfer to St. Marmot."

"In Germany?" Lily asked surprised.

"Switzerland," Peter corrected her.

"Oh man, sorry mate that sucks," James said, but Peter shook his head.

"It's fine. I'll probably move with her."

"You will?" Now it was Sirius turn to be surprised. If he remembered correctly, Peter and Christie had only been together for 3 months and they already planned to leave the country together? A little pit of jealousy formed in his stomach.

"Yes. I'll be able to work for the paper there."

"But you don't speak German," Remus frowned.

"I do." Peter protested.

"You do?" Sirius and James asked in unison.

"Yes. My great aunt was from Austria."

"Huh." Sirius wasn't sure what to make of this new Peter lore drop. When you thought you knew someone...

Remus and Sirius decided to take the long way from the pub and walk. The fresh air was a welcome contrast to the stuffiness of the pub.

"I'm glad they found a house. James was starting to get on my nerves with all the pictures," Sirius joked, hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.

Remus smiled. "And Lincolnshire is nice."

"You think? Maybe we should look there to."

"Look for what?"

"For a house."

"If you want to move there you can look into it," Remus said. Sirius didn't miss the defensiveness in his voice.

"I thought we could pick something together. For both of us." He proposed, still hopeful, eventhough he knew the answer by now.

Remus stopped walking abruptly. "Can you drop it already! I told you, I cannot afford a house."

Sirius stopped as well, startled by Remus raised voice. He felt his chest tighten.

"So what? You will never to be able to afford anything with your part time work! Just let me cover it!"

Remus recoiled visibly at his words and Sirius wished he could take them back. That's not how he had meant to phrase it. "I'm sorry. But this way...we'll never move in together are we?" he asked, defeat swinging in his voice. Remus frowned and looked at his shoes.

"I...I guess not."

Sirius threw up his hands in frustration.

"So what's the point? If we are never gonna live together, if we are never going to share a life, why are we even together?"

"Maybe we shouldn't be."

Sirius felt numb.

"Is that what you want?" he asked quietly, tears pooling in his eyes.

Remus didn't answer.

"Fucking talk to me!" he yelled. Desperate for a response, for Remus to at least look at him.

Remus looked up, his expression blank.

"I think you are right. There's no point."

He turned and began to walk away.

Sirius stood there, frozen, unable to say anything, unable to think anything but 'Come back'.

**

Almost a week had passed since their altercation on the street before Remus found himself in front of Sirius apartment. He took a deep breath before he entered. Hoping that Sirius would be gone. Because if he wasn't...that would only complicate things further.

His prayers remained unanswered, because Sirius was sitting on the couch, bundled up in a blanket despite the warm weather. When he saw Remus he got up immediately.

"Remus..."

"I'm just here to pick up my stuff," Remus said firmly, trying to ignore the way his heart clenched. He had thought about it all week. This was the right decision. He was holding Sirius up, wasn't even making him happy. So as much as he loved him - as much as he wanted to pull him into his arms and kiss him till they both felt okay again - it would be selfish to not let him go. Sirius would hurt, surely. But it would pass. And he'd find someone else to love. Someone better. Someone who had more to offer than a parttime job at a shabby bookstore. Someone who wasn't utterly useless for one quarter of every month. Someone he didn't have to take care of.

Sirius face fell at his words and then shifted towards the same closed off expression that Remus had only ever seen before at the train station, when Sirius had walked over to his parents at the beginnig of summer break. The fact that Sirius was looking that way at him now made him feel sick.

"I'll be quick," he promised.

"Be my fucking guest," Sirius said coldly and sank back onto the couch.

Remus quickly gathered his things from the living room - mostly books - and picked up his mugs from the kitchen. All the while he could feel Sirius eyes following him.

"I'll go upstairs," he stated and walked up. He heard Sirius get up from the couch and when he turned around he saw him storming out the front door, slamming it shut behind him. Remus gathered himself and blinked the tears away that had threatened to form. He had to do this. It was the right thing. In hindsight Sirius would be glad, he was sure.

Remus picked up his toothbrush and comb from the bathroom and then finally continued to the bedroom. Remus had kept only a single drawer of clothes at Sirius place. Sirius had offered him more space but it had felt imposing to him. So he didn't have much to pack. When he threw one final look at the room, to see if he had forgotten anything, his eyes were drawn to one of his jumpers. It was lying on the bed, on Sirius side, all crumpled up. Had Sirius slept with it? Remus felt his stomach cramp and for a second he felt like he couldn't do it. He couldn't leave Sirius. He was breaking his heart.

So he can be happier later, he told himself, threw the jumper in his bag and left the apartment.

Remus decided to disapparate from the park. There were a few private spots where noone would see him. He entered the park through a small side entrance and walked, close too the shrubbery towards the back of the pond. He suddenly stopped in his tracks when he spotted a familiar figure sitting on one of the benches, sobbing desperatly.

Sirius.

It broke Remus heart to seem him like that. Maybe he preferred the closed off expression to this. For a minute or two he just stood there, helplessly watching Sirius cry, knowing he couldn't do anything to console him without jeopardising his plan. Suddenly, Sirius jumped to his feet, wiped his eyes and - without noticing Remus - ran out of the park, towards the apartment building.

Remus walked to his destination and dissappeared.

**

"Remus?" Sirius called into the apartment, out of breath from running up the stairs. "Remus!"

No answer. Sirius hurried up the stairs opening first the bathroom, then the bedroom, but Remus was gone. Deflated, he dropped down onto the bed, absentmindedly reaching for the jumper that had provided him with at least a little comfort over the last days. It still smelled of Remus a little. But his hand couldn't find it so he looked up and realized that it was gone.

Of course it was. Remus was gone. He wouldn't come back. Sirius buried his face in his pillow to muffle the loud sobs and screams that escaped him uncontrollably. He felt like a stupid kid, brawling like that but he just couldn't stop. It hurt so badly. Sirius felt as if his entire chest was torn open and someone had ripped out his heart. Maybe someone had.

[lilliancdoodles]

fighter/archfey warlock fit is. so inspired??? like even the extended spelllist is mostly filled with spells that just make sense? faerie fire and sleep off the top like yeah best way to get the jump on people how useful for the guy sent to spy on people

I had been building the eggs as dnd chars back in the summer - I don't think I have the notes anymore (despairs) but Ramon has to be an artificer, right? like there's no question there? at most it's a arti-multiclass?

Fighter/Warlock Fit came to me and it just made too much sense, I couldn't not do it. And all the flavor you can add, just AAAA. I've completed his character sheet (cause im crazy I think im going to make everyone a character sheet) so for the lvl 1 spells I gave him Witch Bolt and Faerie Fire, and for cantrips I gave him Eldritch Blast (cause you have to have Eldritch blast) and Create Bonfire. (I had never heard of it before, but the image of 2b!Fit standing infront of that fire in the cut scenes was too good to pass up)

If you can remember anything from your eggs as characters I would LOVE to hear them!! And yeah 100% Ramon is an artificer. I have him as an Artficer Artillerist. I haven't looked into it recently (I made these innital plans in the beginning of March) but I know that it means he can make things explode, so it fits in my mind! The way the rest of morning crew works there could be 2-3 artificers in this party by the time im done....

[10piecechickenmcnugget]

Headcanon anon here and I was just reading through the blog and I started to feel bad.

Like legitimately bad.

I am a full blown Inniter. And I am a HUGE c!Tommy fan.

Is Cc!Tommy “a freak who likes to Roleplay mental disorders he doesn’t have”? Am I ablest? I have autism but internalized ableism is a thing.

oh that sucks i’m really sorry :( i found it funny cause i don’t give a shit about her opinions but i completely understand how her posts can be like that

it is very much not ableist to be a c!tommy enjoyer i promise and from my perspective at least i don’t see anything wrong with cc!tommy wanting to do the exile arc for his character or any of the ccs “roleplaying disorders they don’t have.” like obviously cc!bbh has never been possessed by some weird ass egg but that doesn’t make the entire egg arc morally wrong, and obviously that’s different from actual child abuse but you get the idea. a lot of the dsmp characters went through incredibly real mental health experiences that they most likely have never experienced irl but it’s fiction. it’s a fictional roleplay series it’s not real they put their characters in situations. cc!aimsey is not a real life disabled cane user but that doesn’t mean c!aimsey being one is ableist, in fact it makes me really happy as a disabled person to get that representation. cc!wilbur obviously did not commit suicide but that doesn’t mean his characters mental health spiral and suicide was a bad thing for him to do. they’re literally just putting their minecraft ocs in situations, that’s the entire point of fiction and fictional characters. there’s plenty of stories in various forms of media about certain experiences that have been made by people who did not go through those experiences but (provided it’s handled respectfully) it’s still good and fine representation and fine to make.

this got really long but yeah, you’re not ableist for being an inniter c! or cc!, and as a matter of fact that person is very blatantly ableist in multiple posts and just overall an asshole